


Follow

by jncar



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-07
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-31 19:05:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jncar/pseuds/jncar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A coda to s3e6, "Ariel." Emma catches Hook for a conversation as they hike away from the Echo Cave, and he ponders the possibility of a happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Follow

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something longer, and I still might, but I had to get this out of my system before the next episode. I hope you enjoy my take on what Killian's thoughts might be after his confession in the cave.

Emma managed to catch him alone while Baelfire— _Neal_ —was busy talking to David and Mary Margaret.

Of course she managed to catch him. He'd known she would eventually.

He squeezed his lips together and looked down at his feet before she even spoke.

"Hook . . . I . . ."

Her confusion and unhappiness were writ large on her face. He didn't want that. He'd never wanted that. "No need, love. I'm sorry I had to burden you with my secret. I never wanted that. I expect nothing. You owe me nothing. I'm not in this for my happy ending. I'm in it for yours." Killian gave up on his own happy ending centuries before Emma was ever a thought in anyone's mind. In fact, his chances of a happy ending probably died the day he handed Baelfire over to the Lost Ones—he just hadn't realized it until now. Fitting, really, that in striving to give Baelfire _his_ happy ending, Killian would pound the final nail into the coffin of his own last chance for the same.

He looked away from Emma's confused gaze. The last thing she needed right now was more pain. She needed to focus on Henry. She needed to focus on making her family whole.

And if he helped, well . . . His chances for a happy ending might be long gone, but there was still hope for something almost as powerful. Something he'd thought he'd turned his back on the day Milah died.

Redemption.

"Why?" Emma whispered, the intensity in her voice demanding that he raise his eyes to meet her gaze. "I thought I understood you. I thought I knew what you were all about. But right now, I have no idea. You can't expect me to believe that your heart, your—your _everything_ —changed like this because of _me_."

Killian clenched his teeth and turned away again. This was the last thing he wanted. Emma didn't need this burden distracting her. "I am a bad man, Emma. A villain. I've done horrible things. I've hurt people. I've killed men." He pulled in a sharp breath as the memories of all his crimes flooded back into his mind. "I wasn't always that way. I was a man of honor. An idealist. I pushed that part of me aside when the Dark One killed my Milah. When she died in my arms." He curled his fingers into a fist, remembering the pain. But instead of the raw ache that he expected, it felt more like a distant sorrow. A pain remembered more as a story than as a reality. "That notion of honor never left me completely," he said softly, still not daring to meet Emma's eyes. "When I killed—when I hurt others—I tried to make sure they were bad men. Villains, like myself. But they weren't always. I made mistakes. I let my lust for revenge blind me."

He let his eyes meet hers for just a moment. The pity and the sorrow that he saw there ached like a raw wound in his side. He looked away again. "I regret what my anger did to me. I regret, most of all, the pain I caused you and your friends."

He shook his head. "So no, I expect nothing from you. I _deserve_ nothing from you." He met her wide, disbelieving eyes one more time. "I am a villain. But the man of honor that has awoken inside of me will see to it that you and your family are reunited and find the happy ending that all of you deserve. I will do whatever it takes to meet that goal—even if it means meeting my death here in this god forsaken realm."

His throat felt tight with regret and sorrow as he saw the moisture glistening in her eyes. She quickly blinked it away and shook her head, dropping her eyes to the ground beneath their feet.

"Okay," she said in a husky voice. "Okay." She raised her eyes, and now they flashed with anger and determination. His heart skipped a beat at the sight.

"You may not think you deserve anything from me," she said, a snarl in her voice, "but you have it. You have my thanks. You have my friendship. And you have my trust. Got it?" She stepped toward him, lifting her chin and commanding his gaze not to falter.

He swallowed the knot in his throat. "Understood."

He'd known he was falling in love with her. He'd known that he'd die for her. But now, as she stood commanding him— _leading_ him—Killian also knew that he'd do anything to _live_ for her. He'd follow her to the ends of the furthest realms and back. He'd fight an army of ogres. He'd take on Pan himself. All at her command. 

"Good," she said, with a sharp nod. She took a deep breath and waived her hand in front of her uncomfortably. "I can't deal with all this . . . _this_ right now. With you, and Neal, and David, and . . . and everything. We need to focus on Henry."

"Absolutely. He's our first priority," said Killian, standing a little sharper, feeling ready to salute his new captain.

Emma nodded again, a look of worry and pain flashing across her face for just a moment before the hardness and determination returned. He watched, falling a little more in love with her with every passing second.

"Okay," she said. "We need to go find Tinkerbell and finish our plan. We're getting out of here. _All_ of us. No one is dying here. No one is getting left behind. Not if I can help it."

When she proclaimed her goals—her impossible, unachievable goals—he found himself believing that she could accomplish them.

If anyone could, it was her.

She took one step closer to him and rested her fingertips on his arm. He held his breath, even as she continued to hold his gaze.

"We'll all make it back to Storybrooke. And once we're home, we'll figure everything else out."

He nodded and swallowed another knot. "Once we're home." The words ached coming out, like a long forgotten dream ripped from the depths of his soul.

She dropped her hand. "Let's go. We've got a plan to make."

She turned back down the path to Tinkerbell's place. Killian followed.

To the ends of the furthest realms and back. He'd do it for her. And for the man he was the first time he set foot on this island.

It wasn't a happy ending. Villains don't get happy endings.

But it was enough.


End file.
